Mattress

Nathalie and I plan to move away from New Orleans in the next year. In planning, we've been slowly taking inventory of what we can leave behind and what we need to take. Despite never buying souvenirs and avoiding frivolous purchases, we've still got tons of stuff. It's mind boggling how things accumulate. Looks like we'll be renting the really big U-Haul truck.

And as much as I love moving to new cities and being in a new environment, I hate the logistics of the actual move itself. The packing takes forever. Every box, no matter how its packed, seems to weigh a hundred pounds by the end of the day. Every doorway becomes a new opportunity to put a new scratch or gouge in your furniture.

And when it comes to moving, no other piece of furniture is as uncooperative and difficult to move as your mattress. Moving a mattress from one location to another is akin to getting a drunk buddy home. It's limp, heavy, and unpredictable. It takes two of you to lift it. The handles on the sides look like they would be helpful, but much like your drunk buddy's limp arms, they do nothing to make lifting it any easier.

You try to lean the mattress against the wall, and all it does is just slump over and fall on the ground.

Mattress, why can't you stay sober like your friend Boxspring?