Eustacian

Physician, heal thyself.

-Luke 4:23

Doctor: [looking through an otoscope] Well, here's the problem. Your ears are filled with fluid. It's definitely your sinuses.

Well, that was a relief... I guess. At least now I knew why I couldn't hear a darn thing.

For the past several days, everything had been sounding muffled yet oddly loud. As if I was walking around wearing ear plugs, but someone had turned up the bass. It was as if I was living underwater. But I wasn't having any ear aches, or nasal drip, or fevers, or headaches, or any of the usual symptoms that would make you think you had a sinus infection. And since nothing hurt and everything else felt relatively normal, I planned to address it with the typical male solution: ignore it.

Nathalie, being rational, thought my plan was stupid. So after a bit of prodding from her, I reluctantly went to see someone about my ears.

Doctor: Well, even though your sinuses aren't infected, we need to drain the fluid. It's small, but there is a chance that you could permanently lose your hearing if we don't address this right away. So I'm going to prescribe you some medications.

I nodded along.

Doctor: One's an antibiotic. The other will be a nasal spray that you need to use twice a day.

Ugh. Gross. Sticking things up my nose? I made a face at Nathalie, who had come with me to visit the doctor. She made a face back.

Doctor: And I'm also going to give you a shot.

Doh! I grimaced and groaned. Nathalie winced in sympathy.

After doing some more paperwork, the doctor left and the nurse came in with the shot. I sighed and started to roll up my sleeve.

Nurse: No... this shot needs to go in your butt.

What? Really? Jeez. I looked over at Nathalie and gave her a bewildered look. She smiled back sympathetically. With even a bigger sigh, I dropped my pants and bent over the exam table. As I was contemplating the importance of always wearing nice underwear, the nurse stabbed my butt with a screwdriver.

Well that's what it felt like, but Nathalie assured me it was simply the needle.