Wednesday, July 18, 2007


The thing about boxers (the underwear, not the dog) is that they look kind of like shorts.

So when you're running around the house in them before bedtime, like I was doing Sunday night, you forget that you're not really wearing any pants. So thank God I remembered as I was about to walk out the door to take the trash cans to the curb for Monday's pickup. I quickly scurried back to the bedroom. And since I was just running to the curb and just needed to cover myself up, I grabbed the closest item of clothing, which happened to be a pair of soccer shorts.

No big deal, this isn't a fashion show.

I also went to put on some shoes, since I had been running around in my socks. There's no point in putting on a pair of shoes that require shoelace tying since I'm just going to be out of the house for a second, so I slipped on a pair of sandals. I paused for a second at my ridiculous outfit: dress shirt, soccer shorts, dark socks, sandals.

I had turned into my dad.

Eh... whatever. I'm only going to be out for a second to take the trash to the curb. Besides, it's dark outside.

So as I'm about to walk back into my house after placing the trash cans out front, I run into a young couple walking their dog.

Horror of horrors! I feel myself turning red, and I suppress the urge to try to explain my hideous outfit, because really, what can I say?

As I stand there, frozen like a frightened rabbit, they stop too. Probably stunned as well.

An eternity passes.

Then their dog starts to tug at his leash to continue the walk, and the young couple comply. And as they walk away, they simply offer a sad smile to the poor man who doesn't know how to dress himself.