Monday, July 16, 2007


Nathalie and I decided to go watch the new Harry Potter movie, and it seemed as if everybody else in New Orleans had pretty much the same idea. There were three lines for the ticket booth, and of course Nathalie and I played the "Pick the Fastest Moving Line" game and lost miserably.

Nothing like a little pre-movie anxiety to start off the evening thinking you're going to get real crappy seats because everybody else beat you into the movie.

But slowly we made our way to the ticket window, and that's when I realized that we were in line behind an idiot.

Ticketing Lady: How can I help you sir?

Man in Front: Oh... uh...

Man in Front: [looks up and scans the list of movies playing] Uh... let see...

The ticket lady waited patiently with a sad smile. Meanwhile, the big doofus couldn't seem to make up his mind. Nevermind that he's been in line for a good 15 minutes before getting to the ticket window. Nathalie and I looked at each other with desperation and then at the man in front with hatred. Our attempts to shoot lasers from our eyes and bore a hole in his head failed. I could see that the people in the other lines are just zipping through, buying tickets left and right.

Man in Front: Uh... I think I'll watch... uh...

I mean, c'mon! What the hell have you been doing for the last 15 minutes? I can understand just driving to the theater without really having a movie in mind that you want to see. But you figure you would spend some time reviewing your choices while you're waiting in line and not wait till it's your turn to buy tickets to start looking.

Man in Front: Uh... Is "Transformers" any good?

Ticketing Lady: I don't know sir, I haven't seen it.

Man in Front: Hmm... Well, then... Let's see...

I looked at my watch. The movie was set to start in about 10 minutes. The last time I sat in the front row, I got so nauseated from sitting so close that I don't remember anything about the last half of the movie other than trying to keep myself from throwing up.

This is probably the same guy at the grocery store that always seems to be surprised that he has to pay for his groceries. He's the guy that will just stand there watching them bag his items, and when the checkout clerk tells him the amount for his groceries, he looks surprised that they're not going to just let him walk out the store. Only then does he start fumbling around for his wallet, pulls out some cash, realizes that he only has a five dollar bill, and then starts to write a check.

Finally, the man comes to a decision:

Man in Front: One adult for Harry Potter.