Saturday, June 02, 2007


How to scare the shit out of your wife:

1. Decide that the best way to destroy a recently expired credit card is to shoot it multiple times with a BB gun.

2. Being devoid of motivation, decide that the best location for shooting the above credit card is on the back deck, instead of someplace more logical and sane like the field a mere 50 yards from the house.

3. Secure the credit card to the deck by wedging it tight between two boards on the deck floor.

4. Sit back a few yards, pump up the BB gun, and take aim.

5. As your wife comes out to the deck to see what you're up to, explain your newly devised credit card destroying idea, and fire the gun before she can stop you.

6. Listen as the little BB ricochets off various structures on the deck.

7. Quickly realize that you should have worn protective eye gear.

8. Close your eyes just in time as the BB shoots back into your eye.

9. Laugh hysterically at the absurdity of the whole thing.

10. Feel sheepish as your frightened wife scolds you and takes your gun away.