Monday, April 30, 2007


I fall into the category of men that don't spend a lot of time in the bathroom grooming themselves. It's not to say that I walk around looking like a homeless vagrant, but long drawn out grooming procedures will never be a part of my morning routine. Unless I fall asleep in the shower, I'm usually in-and-out of the bathroom in less than 10 minutes: wash hair, wash body, wash face, get out, dry off, shave face, comb hair, leave bathroom.

One thing that I never incorporated into my routine was using conditioner. Although I understand the need for it, I never enjoyed plastering my freshly washed hair with this goop. And because it felt slimey, I undoubtably spent too much time rinsing it out and probably ended up rinsing everything out. Thus resulting in a waste of conditioner, and a waste of time. So I went without and just lived with hair that wasn't super soft.

I'm a guy. Supersoft hair isn't all that vital to my existence. I was quite content with how things were.

But then I discovered Pantene Pro V shampoo in college and I was amazed by its ability to make my hair soft without having to follow it with a glob of conditioner. Then the 2-in-1 combination shampoo and conditioner made its debut sometime later and I couldn't have been happier. One bottle had all that I needed. Now I got all the benefits of conditioner without having to spend any extra effort.

And this is how I've lived with myself for the past 14 years.

Then today at Wal-Mart, I ran across this:

Now I'm all about minimizing fru-fru time in the bathroom, but this all-in-one multi-use, multi-tasker of a washing agent is a bit too much. When I saw this, it just cracked me up. This product was obviously designed for the guys that are one tier under me: they just want to open up one bottle of soap in the shower and use it for everything: hair, body, face... whatever!

I can see how this may be beneficial for a large government run institution with a limited budget, like a prison, which could use an item like this. Give each prisoner one handful of goop and make them use it for washing everything. No need to bother with a separate allotment of shampoo, conditioner, or soap.

But seriously, how effective can something like this be? It either overdries your hair, or under-cleans the body. Either case, who wants hair that smells like Old Spice?