Monday, January 29, 2007


Today I went and had my last cavity filled. "Last" being laughable in that despite my best efforts, I seem to accrue a cavity at a rate of about one every couple of years. I'm sure by 2009 I'll be lamenting yet another trip to the dentist.

Sadly, I've always had terrible dentition. When I was a kid, we figured it was due to me eating too much candy and likely not brushing properly. But despite my aversion to sweets and adoption of different brushing techniques and trials of various brushing tools, my very unhappy meetings with dentists has continued at a steady rate. Logic would state that good oral hygiene would prevent this, but I've tried everything short of a cleaning every week and I'm still having to deal with cavities.

Perhaps this is because I refused to get my wisdom teeth pulled, so the dentistry gods are conspiring against me. My wisdom teeth came in straight with enough room in my jaw, so why pull them? So I can pay the dentist $300 per tooth? I think not!

Regardless, I found myself sitting in the dentist's chair today, yet again fearing the inevitable needle in my mouth. While his assistant was fiddling with the anesthetic, my dentist and I got to talking.

Me: So I'm sure you see some disgusting mouths during the day.

Dentist: Man, you wouldn't believe how some people keep their mouths.

I looked on with interest.

Dentist: I mean, you would figure the average person would at least have the common decency to brush their teeth before coming to see me, but I'd say that happens in about one of every 3 people at best...

[Although I did brush my teeth this morning, I didn't brush my teeth prior to coming to see him. Eek. I even ate a donut on the way to his office! I sat quietly in shame while my dentist went on a bit of a tirade]

Dentist: ...Anyway, there are just some disgusting mouths out there.

Me: Yeah, I don't know how you do it. I don't think I can look at people's mouths all day. That's kind of gross.

Then it just dawned on me what I've spent all morning doing before my dentist appointment: colonoscopy. Funny, I've spent the past 3 months on the Colon and Rectal Surgery service, looking at assholes and sticking my finger and various instruments up people's anus on a daily basis, draining butt pus and abscesses, and taking out anal warts, cancers, and other lesions, and here I was talking about how gross his job was...