Monday, May 22, 2006


[A roll of toilet paper found in a hotel I stayed at recently.]

Their brand name of Heavenly Soft written in plush, squishy-looking font and gentle curving cursive suggests that this paper is like virgin cashmere. It prominently boasts "Facial Quality" to further enhance the illusion that the quality of the paper to be ultra soft and gentle. This is something you would want to use on your sensitive and delicate face. Thus, what's good for your face will certainly be good enough for your other set of rosy cheeks.

In related commentary, I watched a Charmin Toilet Paper commercial where a little bear is running around playing and carrying on. All of a sudden he stops and gets that look on his face. He then runs over to a tree to grab a handful of TP before heading out behind the bushes when a larger bear comes over, berates him for taking too much paper, and then goes into a maniacal singing tirade about how the new Charmin is so thick that you need 25% less toilet paper than before to do the same job.

Go here to see the commercial. Click on the blue "Roll the Clip" button.

I don't know. I'm not a bear expert, but by the look on the little bear's face and by how quickly he stopped what he was doing to run to the bathroom, it looked like he developed a case of the squirts.

Maybe it's different for bears, but when I find myself in that little bear's situation, the last thing on my mind is toilet paper conservation. In fact, I'm inclined to use MORE toilet paper than usual for these occasions.

I feel for that little bear.
It's a bummer being little.
It's a hard knock life!