Fructose

Last year:
1 Jack O'lantern
45 minutes spent carving it
5 bags of candy
1 hour spent positioning the Jack O'lantern "just right"
3 times the candle blew out and relit
5 hours spent waiting
3 total kids show up at the door
(1 not even in costume)

This year:
0 plans made to hand out candy
No pumpkin, no Jack O'lantern, no nothing
12 kids show up at the door

Luckily I had bought some candy bars for my own fat self. Otherwise these kids would have received whatever I had laying around the house: blank CD's, loose change, surgical tools, maybe even a wedding invitation.

Speaking of which, 5 days and counting...