Sunday, September 11, 2005

Wedding, Crashed

It's 4AM. I walk into the ER into one of the exmination rooms to the following scene:

The Best Man: shirt partly untucked, jacket missing, sitting on the floor at the corner of the room, passed out.

The Groom: laying on the stretcher, relatively conscious, reeking of booze, bowtie missing, shirt completely untucked and partly unbuttoned, IV in place.

The Bride: fuming with arms crossed, sitting on the doctor's rolling stool, still in her wedding dress.

Various members of the wedding party are milling around the waiting area. They all perk up when I enter the room.

So in celebration of his wedding, the Groom over imbibes as he drinks toast after toast with his groomsmen and wedding guests. The reception is coming to an end, and as he and the Bride are making their way out of the reception hall to their awaiting limo, he trips down the stairs and lands on the bottom, unconscious.

On the ambulance ride to the hospital, the Best Man passes out in the ambulance multiple times, but is jabbed awake by the Bride, who blames the Best Man for the drunken state of the Groom.

Several X-Rays, a head CT, and various bloodwork later, the Groom is found to have crepitus over his left 5th rib, no other injuries are identified. Odds are likely that he has punctured his left lung with his broken rib as he fell down the stairs. If his lung drops and develops a pneumothorax, he will need a chest tube placed into his left chest to reinflate his lung and will be in the hospital for several days as his lung heals. This will obviously throw a wrench into the wedding couple's wedding night and honeymoon plans. Needless to say, the Bride, who has been planning her perfect wedding since she was about 6-years-old, is rightly aggravated.

As luck would have it, the Groom ended up avoiding the chest tube and I discharged him from the hospital later that morning around 10AM. His broken left rib will put him out of commission for several weeks, but he'll be back to normal in no time. I didn't dare ask what the couple was planning to do in regards to the honeymoon.

The Best Man eventually woke up from his drunken stupor and was driven home by a groomsman.

I told Nathalie this story, to which she simply replied: That will not happen at our wedding.