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Monday, July 18, 2005

Revelations

We put the patient in position and administered the IV medicines to sedate him for his colonoscopy.

There are two types of people when it comes to conscious sedation: those that sedate easily and are asleep in minutes, and those that are resistent to the medicines and just keep chatting.

The former are the best to work with, because I can concentrate on what I'm doing. The ones that keep talking tend to distract me, move around excessively, and in general just get in the way. Not only that, the sedatives tend to make them a bit looney, so it's similar to talking to a severely inebriated drunk at your local bar. You wish they would just shut up and leave you alone so you can do your own thing.

This guy was a talker. He was easily a solid muscular 220 pounds, and it was going to take a lot to put him down. I looked at the nurse and gave her the eyebrow raise, signalling that this guy needed more sedation. In the meantime, he just kept on talking:

"Hey Doctor, what are you doing now?"
"Is it normal to still feel everything?"
"What's that on the screen?" [pointing to the monitors] "Is that my colon?"
"What are all those green things floating around?"
"What's all that beeping?"

But then we went on to say something quite surprising...

"You know, I normally wear ladies underwear, but since I knew you guys were going to be looking at my butt, I wore men's briefs today so that nobody would know."