Exchange

The next time I buy something expensive, I'm going to do it with cash. But instead of using large bills, I'm going to get it all in $1 bills, wrap them in the middle with little paper bands, and then place the stacks of bills neatly in an aluminum briefcase and walk into the store...

Seller: You got my money?

Me: You got the merchandise?

Seller: It's right here.

Me: [placing the briefcase on the counter] Here's your money.

     [Click, Click! I open the briefcase]

Seller: [grinning with glee] Oooh!

Me: Count it, it's all there.

Seller: [grabbing the money while simultaneously handing over the merchandise] Here. Now go!

Me: Hey, uh, can I get my briefcase back? It was kinda expensive...